i accused myself for everything, but now i realize that everything was your own stupidity

we may fall down, get back up and walk away. but how often do we do that? how often do we just stay and lay down and let everybody hit us. we let wrong people come into our lives and oh' they love to wreck everything simple and beautiful you have. we all have someone, who warns us about those people but do we listen? no, we just want to live it all through ourselves, learn from our own mistakes. so sometimes we do learn, cause next time we don't repeat our mistakes. we make much more worse mistakes. so when i've reached the limits of making mistakes, i just want to hide away. but it doesn't help.. well, maybe it does but it hasn't helped me yet. i know few people whose karmic debts are high above average. and they all say one thing - they complain how life is unfair and how everything is so bad and sad.. what the f* crap? start changing yourself?? stop being such a nagging bitch and be just a little bit better person. believe me, you all would make such a big favor to the world. so, i'm not a good person. not even close to that, cause i just have so much negativity in me. i have so less acceptance left in me. and i may complain over myself or my life but at least i know the reasons why is it so. i have tried to fix my karmic debts and it's only showing me good results. your actions doesen't always affect only you, it affects a lot more people you can imagine. once i do make a peace with myself and my problems, i may start to heal and get better. cause i know that right now i am pretending to be someone else, pretending to be a good and loving person.